Sharon Tseung 0:02
This is the digital nomad quest podcast with Sharon Tseung. teaching people how to build passive income, become financially free and design the best lives.Maybe you could tell us about your second place speech, the secrets to a good speech is has to be relatable to people.Sean Pan 0:20
So if you talk about how successful you are you making a bunch of money, people don’t care about that. They want to hear a human story. So my story was about how I failed my driver’s license exam. I failed four times back in high school and it was devastating every single time. Basically, when I was younger, I was a I was a little bit older for my my age group, my grade, so I thought I was gonna be that cool kid, I got the license, first job in my car round taking people to the mall and stuff and then failing and every time you fail, you have to wait two weeks plus to sign up for another test. Yeah, so I didn’t actually get my license until I was like 16 and a half. So for six months I was facing. Feeling feeling over and over again. And I just talked about how that experience changed me and how I learned to deal with failure. And people loved it because they thought it was so freaking hilarious.Sharon Tseung 1:09
I think it’s funny because I did the same thing. Oh god. So we both failed our life says four times. And when we first met, I shared that story. And he was like,Sean Pan 1:20
yeah, first, I was like, This is weird. And she’s like, Oh, no, he thinks I’m a bad driver. Like, actually, I also feelSharon Tseung 1:29
Oh, my God. But it’s so funny that we have that in common. I’ve never met anyone who has done. Oh, God. Ok, back to speakingSean Pan 1:38
But look, 13 years later, I still haven’t got a ticket yet.Sharon Tseung 1:45
That’s true.Sean Pan 1:46
So hey, maybe like our failures actually taught us to be better drivers than the average person.Sharon Tseung 1:50
Maybe but I don’t think I’m a very good driver. You’ve been in my car. I don’t know. What do you think?Sean Pan 1:56
You’re okay.

Sharon Tseung 1:58
Okay. Let’s get into the meat of public speaking. What are some best practices for a newbie like me?

Sean Pan 2:03
Okay. That’s very great question on the way. So public speaking is scary. That’s this effect. And in fact, people have said is number one biggest fear. Even more than that, just crazy. When I first started talking in public, my voice would quiver, and I would sweat. Even now when I do competitions, my feet still sweat. It’s very weird. And it’s not like I’m scared, but my feet do sweat. The thing is, public speaking doesn’t have to be something that’s scary, ultimately will public speaking is is you’re basically trying to be yourself on stage. You just need to talk as if you’re talking to a friend. And then that’s it, that that’s what makes a great public speaker when the speaker is talking to you as if they’re your best friend. And I’m sure no matter how introverted you are, or how nervous you are, when you’re talking to your friend, whether that your best friend not be your mom, right? Whoever your best friend is you talk to them easily and it’s it flows very smoothly. I think the worst speakers are the ones who are trying to be to, like proper, and they try to memorize every single word. But that’s not how you do it public speak. Just talking to a public speech

Sharon Tseung 3:08
Do you like imagine the audience as if they’re your friends? Or do you think of a certain way when you go up on stage,

Sean Pan 3:14
I don’t imagine them as my friends per se, but when I’m speaking, I’m not nervous or held back. You know, I’m not like filtering myself as if I’m talking to some some strangers. I’m just speaking as I normally speak. Like, this is hard talk to my friends, it comes off very smooth and very flows very easily.

Sharon Tseung 3:33
Okay. And then, you know, like people say about eye contact, like working the room, things like that. Do you have tips on that?

Sean Pan 3:41
So first tip from you is kind of treating your audience as if it’s your friend. Like maybe we can go into a few more tips. Okay, so I’m talking about actual, like working room maybe. Yeah, like, every little thing that could help people specifics. Okay. Yeah.

So the first thing is you don’t want to stand in the middle of the room that makes you very boring. And if there’s a podium for you, that’s great. But if you put your hands on that podium, it’s over. Like, because now you’re boring. You’re like stuck there. I mean, unless you’re the president, but usually the most charismatic speakers are the ones like Tony Robbins, he walks the room. He like, looks at almost every single person.

Sharon Tseung 4:21
Sometimes he goes in the audience.

Sean Pan 4:23
Exactly. That’s what you need to do you to walk up to the stage, they want you to walk, but you need to make sure that you’re not just pacing, okay? If you’re pacing and wandering like this, it can be distracting. What you do is you move with a purpose, the best kind of transitions, are we talking about timeline? So like, I started here, and then I moved on to blah, blah, blah. And as you as you’re speaking, you’re actually walking. So in looking at several people.

Sharon Tseung 4:46
Yeah, when you I mean, walk the room, like in the middle of your speech, is it you’ve already had this prepared like how you’re going to walk and stuff?

Sean Pan 4:56
So you haven’t prepared for the most part for a very, very big enters even do this. When you start? Well, let’s go back.

Usually the way a speech goes down is usually you have an introduction, and whatever you’re talking about, it should just have three main points. If you have too many points people are going to forget, right? There’s no reason having this 25 minute speech. So three main points. So in the beginning introductions here, and then you can move like to left 4.1 point 2.3 and then move to the Center for conclusion, and you’re done.

Sharon Tseung 5:28
That’s actually a very good tip. Okay. And then eye contact so do you look at specific people, or like the whole general crowd, like how do you do it?

Sean Pan 5:38
I look at individual people. Show them some love.

Sharon Tseung 5:40
Really? Okay.

Sean Pan 5:41
There’s a little bit like nod your head, right? Yeah. And then they like your head that great and then the next person and then I’m likes all that stuff.

So you think about it when you’re delivering or have you gotten so good that it just doesn’t happen anymore.

For sure the ns and lights do pop up sometimes. Especially when you’re blinking out, that’s when you go. And then that feels like it’s going on forever. And people are actually scared of having that empty space. That’s why they use a filler word to fill in that empty space. Instead of doing that, just like once you feel the arms coming out, just just kill it, and silent. When you’re up there on stage, that silence for just two seconds will feel like an eternity and you’re going to be like, Oh my god, this is so awkward. But when you review the footage, if you’re filming yourself, you will probably not notice that two seconds. Silence. Yeah. Oh, it’ll be just the silence. Sometimes silence is great. Yeah. Because it makes it more powerful dramatic. You know your voice when you do it too. Intense depending on what the speeches or whatever, right? I like a certain point. You’re like, I want to emphasize this point. you pause a little bit slowly for genetic effect.

Sharon Tseung 6:56
Interesting. Did you do that in your second place? speech. Oh,

Sean Pan 7:00
Think so. But I’m a very I’m pretty hyper so actually taught. That’s what am i floss? Still? I talked to quickly. Oh, really? Yeah, I don’t notice it I tend to quickly and it’s because I want to get my information out there and I don’t want to get disqualified for time. Oh was a huge flop,

Sharon Tseung 7:17
how much time you go for the speech or competition?

Seven minutes. Okay, so 730 like you get 30 seconds of grace period. And after that 30 seconds, you’re okay. You know how TEDx talks. They’re like an hour, right? Have you prepared to that length before? Okay, so something really cool couple weeks ago actually gave my speech to my old high school, which was a huge, huge honor for me. I know, being able to talk to younger folk and try to inspire them. That pop was only 30 minutes and I was already finding it hard to fill in that gap. Like it’s hard to memorize 30 minutes with the material. I see it slides right. And it has slides. Oh, so but it’s like, honestly, like people can do like 45 minute keynotes, without reading off this very impressive,

I’ve learned, okay, in terms of telling story, there is the setup, the suspense part, and then the overall like revelation part. And then they teach that the suspense part, you can hold it as long as you want, the setup needs to be really short. And then the ending should be really short as well. And it’s like in movies, they can spend the whole movie in that suspense part, right.

Sean Pan 8:25
That’s right.

Sharon Tseung 8:26
And then you know, so that’s, I think that’s what people say about how you tell a story. And then in terms of speeches, what I’ve heard is you you really have to spark their emotions, right?

Sean Pan 8:36
You have to make them feel things you can’t just do like be more engaged with your speech if they care. Yeah, exactly. You’re talking about something super technological. That isn’t doesn’t apply to them. They’re not care. Yeah, zone out.

Sharon Tseung 8:50
Yeah. I remember watching a TEDx talk. And they started with something really funny. Everyone’s laughing something about Beyonce. She saved a ton of money to like Go to this concert. And when she got there, she was in the front row. And she got to like sing with her and like that, and she felt really like, good. And then somehow she transitioned to something like really emotional about failure or something like that. And then it went into five people you want in your life like the mentor, the coach, whatever. So I think that’s a good structure of kind of starting with making them laugh, make them cry, and get go into your advice. I think that’s a good structure.

Sean Pan 9:25
That makes a lot of sense. Because if you start the opposite, where you start with the sad part, they’re going to be like, Oh, man, this guy’s a Debbie Downer. Like, I don’t want listen to this debbie downer. That’s where some of the funny story I like this person, this person is my friend. I will listen to what they have to say. And then the crushing blow as like who I feel you Yeah, my friend. I feel you and then they’ll listen to you.

Sharon Tseung 9:46
Yeah, I mean, actually, yeah. Yesterday, I listened to Brene Brown’s, Netflix speech, basically. And she did the exact same thing she made. Everyone laughed, and then it went like very like, oh, like I feel you like she started saying some words. Sad stuff, and then went into Okay, like here the facts about vulnerability and shame and stuff. And I think that’s like a normal pattern. Cool. So I have this problem, where when I go on stage, my mind gets all hazy. And then I can’t remember when I was trying to say, I think because I psychologically probably think that I’m bad at it. So when I go up there, I’m tripping out, and then it really affects, even when I’m singing and stuff, I get really panicked and I can feel my brain getting hazy. So do you have any advice for that?

Sean Pan 10:32
Yes, I do. Thanks. That’s an amazing question. So this goes back to what I was saying before about how people, some people who are new try to memorize every single word, and then deliver the speech word for word for word. But if you actually take things like Dale Carnegie’s courses, you realize that humans are really bad at memorizing things in sequence like that, but they’re really good at memorizing stories. So if you change your speech from just word, word, word word, and it must go into sequence otherwise, as make sense to story one story two stories three. It’s easy, because then you’re up there to tell your story. Okay, so you break it down in your mind. The story sections, not the specific words is what we’re saying. That’s right. You can tell a story. three different ways. But the same content you mean, sure.

Sharon Tseung 11:16
Does it like change when you go up there?

Sean Pan 11:18
And then sometimes, yeah, of course. All right. Somebody said someone said, this is like when you deliver a speech, like there’s three speeches. There’s a speech you wrote, there’s a speech you delivered, and there’s a speech and we should deliver

Transcribed by https://otter.ai