“Today, I’ll choose courage over comfort.”
This is something I heard on Brene Brown’s Netflix special that she says every morning, and it really made an impression on me. Two days ago I had a conversation where we recapped on what we had accomplished in 2019 so far. I remember recalling certain milestones with my business but thinking to myself “that’s it? Didn’t I do more?”
After reflecting on Brene Brown’s words I made a huge realization. My biggest wins weren’t my course, getting interviewed, or the blog content I wrote. My biggest wins were in the process: every single time I took leaps of faith. Every time I showed up.
• It was when I interviewed people and vice versa when I had a huge fear of any type of on-the-spot thinking or public speaking situation.
• It was when I signed up for improv class and finished the entire 8-week course when I didn’t want to.
• It was when I decided to do an “intentional dating” challenge to find love, even when I wanted to choose my bed and a good book over leaving the house, putting myself out there, and meeting new people
• It was when I started creating more educational content on multiple platforms, which meant opening myself up to critique and criticism.
• It was when I chose to let go of things that didn’t serve me / spark joy despite the uncertainty that came with it.
It was every time I chose courage over comfort.
Entering the Arena
The funny thing is many of us have been conditioned to think being brave is good and being vulnerable is weak. It is impossible to have these two occurring simultaneously.
Here are some examples of being vulnerable:
- Asking someone out
- Telling someone I love you
- Admitting your insecurities
- Signing up for a dance class when you think you’re terrible at dance
- Performing in front of a crowd
- Writing a song
- Creating YouTube videos
- Applying for a job and getting interviewed
Most of the above actions are scary and require courage – and they are all vulnerable acts. You need vulnerability to be courageous.
When I chose vulnerability and courage, I chose to be in the arena, as Theodore Roosevelt would call it. Here is Theodore Roosevelt’s quote about courageous people:
“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.”
Towards the end of 2018 and beginning 2019 I made it a note to become more courageous in everything I did. Whatever I thought I was bad at or scared of, I took it as a sign to do it more often. By entering the arena, I was actually taking risks. Most people would rather live a loveless, timid life than put themselves out there and risk rejection and failure. But what kind of life would that be? We have to risk feeling the lows in order to experience the highs.
I’m always about living my life to my fullest potential, and I constantly preach we have to live, love, and inspire. How could I do any of those things, if I didn’t become courageous and open myself up to failure?
Why Should You Choose Courage Over Comfort
Because I went through some bad anxiety (and still mildly do to this day), I knew I needed to battle things I feared. So to do this I created challenges for myself, and the more I completed challenges, the more confidence I gained. I had to be brave enough to accept that life is uncertain rather than try and control everything. I had to let go of what other people thought of me, open up about my insecurities (like my anxiety!), and take that action despite fear.
I realized that life goes on when I mess up, and that people care less than I would think. I tend to do what’s called “catastrophic thinking” and imagine the worst in many scenarios. But when objectively looking at my situations, I usually realize that the worst is never that bad.
When choosing courage, the frameworks in your mind gradually change to realize there’s not that much you should fear or worry about.
I also felt more confident in areas I thought I was bad at. The more I took action, the better I got, and the less I disliked something about myself. One example was my speaking voice. I hated hearing myself talk. Because of this I decided to record myself talking over and over again and share those videos. I’m now pretty comfortable with hearing myself speak!
Every time I chose bravery, it led to more self love and self confidence overall.
But I’m not saying it’s easy.
It’s extremely difficult to choose the harder option that you know may help you, versus the comfortable, feel-good instant gratification option.
And I’m still working on choosing bravery in my life – it’s not like I’ve mastered it or anything. But even within these last few months I see changes in myself and how I feel about myself. I love and accept myself more. By choosing to be in the arena, I allow myself the opportunity for pure joy, real achievement, and devotion to cause, despite opening myself to the chance of failure (and you WILL fail a lot and there’s no way around it).
You don’t have to filter and control your life to avoid shame. You can choose to live a courageous life filled with abundance and joy.
I encourage you to live DARE GREATLY and open up, be vulnerable, love deeply, and take the leap into uncertainty.
